Typical MLW. Ring music is fucked up right off the bat. And they don’t edit the fuck-up off the DVD. Christopher Daniels comes out with Daniels and cuts a promo on the fans. Lynn also rags on the fans. He then cuts a promo on Paul London for not showing up. He says he will take on anyone. They replay the ring music correctly this time.
Match No. 1: Jerry Lynn vs. Kid Romeo. Lynn jumps Romeo at the bell. Place looks pretty full. They must have papered things heavily. And there probably is nobody on the hard camera side of the arena. Romeo hits a hurricanrana and a leg lariat. Daniels beats on Romeo outside the ring and then runs him into the ring post. Lynn goes for a springboard leg drop on the apron and fucks it up. Fans let Lynn know that he fucked up the move. Romeo hits a bulldog but Lynn barely kicks out. Lynn hits a fireman’s carry cutter on Romeo. Romeo hits an over the shoulder belly-to-back piledriver (Last Kiss) but Daniels distracts the ref. Lynn then hits the cradle piledriver for the pin. Decent match, but nothing special. Rating: **1/2
Before the next match, Dawn Marie comes out and cuts a promo. Who cares what she says, she’s got one smoking hot body. Must be cold in the arena, but nobody is complaining.
Match No. 2: Michael Shane vs. Homicide. Homicide gets the early advantage and Shane takes a powder. Plus he wants to get closer to Francine’s voluptuous breasts. Homicide with a nice release overhead suplex, followed by a somersault tope (Tope con Hilo). Shane with a nice side suplex and then he does and ground and pound followed by an atomic drop. Shane goes for the pin and puts his feet on the ropes. Homicide hits a nice scoop lift piledriver. Shane hits a release overhead suplex and then Homicide cracks him with a punch. Homicide nails Shane with an exploder suplex. Homicide then hits a back-to-back double underhook piledriver (Da Cop Killa) but Shane kicks out. Homicide chases Francine outside the ring and then Shane catches him with a facebuster. Homicide barely kicks out. Homicide puts on the stepover toehold facelock (STF) but Francine distracts the ref. Homicide is distracted by her again. Shane rolls him up and Homicide kicks out. Big boot by Homicide. Francine distraction again. Homicide makes her headbutt Shane in the balls several times. Enough of this shit already. Homicide goes to gived her a move and Shane superkicks him. Homicide kicks out. Ok, both guys have kicked out of each other’s finisher. Homicide then rolls up Shane for the pin. Good job by the guys, but this fucking match was way overbooked, which dropped the match quality. Rating: ***
After the match, Shane teases that he is going to hit Dawn Marie, but they embrace. Enough already.
Match 3: Billy Fives vs. Christopher Daniels. Have to admit, I haven’t heard of Fives. And its typical of MLW to have Daniels in the opening half of the card when there will be several stiffs later in the show. Fives slaps Daniels, who gets pissed. Fans not into this match at all. Huge dropkick by Fives. Fives hits a plancha on Daniels. Daniels clotheslines Fives to the floor and Lynn works him over outside. Ok, so this is three matches in a row with outside interference. Enough already. Fives hits a hangman’s neckbreaker. Fives hits what looks like a shining wizard but he doesn’t hit it correctly. Styles has no idea what to call it. Daniels hits a facebuster on Fives and then goes to the top. He then hits a double jump moonsault (Best Moonsault Ever) but Fives kicks out. What the fuck? Every ROH guy tonight has someone kick out of their finisher? Again, enough already with this overbooking. Fives does a suplex where he drops Daniels on his face. Fives hits a cutter but Lynn distracts him. Daniels then hits a rolling cutter (Last Rites) for the pin. Another match that should have been better, but was over booked. Congrats, Court Bauer. You figured out a way to book a shitty Christopher Daniels match. That, my friend, is hard to do. Rating: **1/2
Match No. 4: Spanish Announce Team vs. Samoan Island Tribe (Manu & Samu). So far, this card has been SHIT so I guess it’s fitting we have SAT vs. SIT in this match. They hit the ring and start brawling before Stephen DeAngelis can make the ring intros. Joel hits a moonsault on Samu, who looks to be 300 pounds plus. The Samoans fight each other for a second. Who knows why. Manu hits a sitout double underhook facebuster on Jose. Samu throws Joel backstage. Manu just beats the shit out of Jose. But Joel makes the save with a chair. He gives him two chair shots to the head that don’t work. He finally dropkicks the chair into his head and he falls over Jose. The SAT’s roll him up for the pin. Not much with this match. Rating: **
Match No. 5: Kenzo Suzuki vs. Norman Smiley. Smiley is seconded by GI Ho. Real creativity with that name, Court. Nice clothesline by Suzuki. They fuck up a snapmare spot. Suzuki chops the shit out of Smiley. More chops by Suzuki. Norman uses an ankle lock. Suzuki makes the ropes. Big knee by Suzuki. He then applies the boston crab. Smiley does the wiggle on Suzuki. Crowd doesn’t care. Huge spear by Suzuki. Nice belly-to-back suplex by Suzuki, followed by a shining wizard for the pin. Another average match that the crowd doesn’t care about. Rating: **
Court Bauer is in the ring with a briefcase holding the MLW tag team titles and wearing a suit that looks like a burlap sack. Why the fuck is booking himself to be on TV? The Extreme Horsemen come to the ring. Simon Diamond cuts a promo, but Steve “Dr. Death” Williams interrupts. He is about to reveal the name of his mystery partner but the heels attack him. I guess we’ve got a match, who the fuck knows?
Match No. 6: The Extreme Horsemen (CW Anderson & Simon Diamond) vs. Steve “Dr. Death” Williams & D’Lo Brown. Horsemen give Doc a double superkick. Out comes D’Lo Brown for the save. Joey Styles goes crazy like it’s Stone Cold Steve Austin or The Rock. C’mon, it’s D’Lo fucking Brown. Styles puts over Bauer and his shitty booking and the fact that this isn’t a title match. Hmmm. I guess the faces win? Thanks for giving away the finish, you fucks. Heels going to town on old ass Doc. Crowd is dead for this shit match. D’Lo hits a spinning lifting high-angle sitting powerbomb (Sky High) on Anderson but Diamond makes the save. Williams cleans house. Brown then hits a swinging side slam on Anderson. He misses a frog splash and Anderson gives him a spinebuster for the pin. Ok, I take back the part about giving away the finish, but the match still sucked as does the booking. I mean, c’mon, these two mid-carders are your tag team champs? Rating: **
DeAngelis puts over a fan fest at the Days Inn as well as the post event party at a strip club. Having an event at a fleabag motel is sure Major League. Why the fuck wasn’t this part edited out of the DVD?
La Parka comes out with James Mitchell, who unmasks him as Mikey Whipwreck. Nice swerve, Court, you’re a fucking ECW mark just like the crowd.
Match No. 7: Mikey Whipwreck vs. Sabu. Both of these poor bastards destroyed their bodies in ECW. Styles is acting like Mikey has been retired. Meanwhile, he’s been wrestling on ROH shows for months. Mikey puts Sabu in an arm bar and we hear a whistle. Out comes Bill Alfonso with a cast on his arm. Alphonso throws a chair into the ring to Sabu. Sabu then hits a slingshot double axe handle in the front row. Sabu hits a hurricanrana from the top rope. Sabu goes for a triple jump moonsault but Mikey trips him and he does a faceplant on the chair. Mike then drops Sabu face first on the guard rail. Sabu sets up a table in the corner leaning against the turnbuckle. Mikey nails him with a chair. He then gives him a russian leg sweep onto the chair. Mikey misses a senton. Sabu hits triple jump moonsault. Mikey kicks out. Mikey hits a three-quarter facelock jawbreaker (Whipper-Snapper) from the top rope. Mikey with a slingshot plancha (pescado) to the floor. Sabu puts Mikey through the table with a triple jump hip strike. He then does a triple jump leg drop followed by a camel clutch. Sabu sits on a chair and Mikey taps. Totally old school ECW match which just did’t work for me. Rating: **1/2
After the match, Sabu goes to hit James Mitchell with a spike. He gets jumped by Christopher Daniels and Jerry Lynn.
Match No. 8: CM Punk vs. Raven. Punk cuts a promo before the match. Simply Luscious shown at ringside. Punk hits a baseball slide on Raven and then tosses him in the guard rail. Raven then does the same to Punk. Raven hits Punk with a chair shot. He goes for a piledriver on the floor put Punk runs him into the apron. Raven goes for a bulldog on the chair but misses badly. Back in the ring, Luscious throws chair to Raven but Punk catches him. Punk hits a slingshot senton. He puts a chair in the corner between the top and middle rope. Raven takes an irish whip hard into the chair. Punk goes for a slingshot cross body block to the floor but Raven nails him with a chair. Punk applies the cobra clutch on Raven. Raven breaks it and then hits a decent looking superkick. Two clotheslines by Raven followed by a knee lift. He then hits a bulldog but Punk kicks out. Raven with a chair. He sets it up and gives Punk a drop toehold into the chair. Punk kicks out. Raven now sets up the chair between the top and middle turnbuckle. Punk with a nutshot. He follows with a shining wizard. He then gives him a shining wizard using a chair but Raven kicks out. Raven hits a flowing snap ddt (Raven Effect) but Michael Shane pulls him to the floor. While the referee is distracted, Shane runs him into the post. Punk then gives him the Raven Effect for the pin. Decent match, at least Punk got the win this time. Rating: ***
After the match, Shane and Punk put the boots to Raven. Punk sets up a chair. He then gives him a drop toehold onto the chair. Punk then beats him some more. He gives him another drop toehold to the chair. Norman Smiley makes the save with a chair. He wants to tag with Raven on the next show against Shane. Styles puts it over like it’s a big deal. Whatever.
Match No. 9: Mike Awesome vs. Satoshi Kojima for the MLW world title. They trade crazy hard chops to the chest. Kojima goes for a slingshot plancha (Pescado) but misses pretty badly. Nice world champion. Kojima barely backdrops Awesome over the railing. Surprisingly, Awesome’s mullet is not as bad as one of the Atlas Security guys. Kojima hits a stepover toehold facelok (STF) but Awesome makes the ropes. Awesome gets a chair from the stage. Horrible kick by Kojima. Then they fuck up a move. Awesome hits him with numerous chair shots. Kojima kicks the chair into Awesome’s face and then gives him some chairshots. Crowd is pretty dead. Kojima hits a release german suplex on the big fucker. Huge lariat by Awesome. He then gives him a sitout powerbomb (Awesome Bomb) followed by a splash from the top rope. Kojima with a superplex but Awesome kicks out. Kojima hits a shining wizard, but Awesome kicks out. Awesome with a huge running powerbomb. Kojima kicks out. Awesome gets a table and sets it up in the ring. Awesome goes for a powerbomb but Kojima hits the referee who goes down. Kojima then hits a three-quarter facelock bulldog (Koji Cutter) followed by a lariat. No referee. Awesome spears Kojima then gives him a power bomb through the table for the pin. Weak match with weak Dusty finish. Fans don’t care. Awesome has gyno issues just like Court Bauer has booking issues. Rating: **1/2
Steve Corino comes to the ring. He puts over Awesome and says he wants a title shot. Right now.
Match No. 10: Awesome vs. Steve Corino. Corino jumps him at the bell. Awesome tosses him into the front row. Awesome with a huge chair shot from the top rope. Corino kicks out. Crowd still dead. Awesome sets up a table in the corner. Awesome power bombs Corino into the table. He goes for another power bomb but C.W. Anderson interferes. Corino then superkicks Awesome for the pin. Corino is the new champ. Fans don’t care again. Rating: **1/2
After the match, fans chant bullshit. I agree, the booking is pretty bad. Corino cuts a promo and holds up the belt.
Match No. 11: Corino vs. Terry Funk in a barbed wire match. This match is sad on so many levels. Court Bauer should be kicked in the balls for booking a 59-year-old Funk, let alone in a barbed wire match. Not much early. Funk hits a hangman’s neckbreaker on Corino. Funk throws him toward the barbed wire, but he slides under it. Corino rakes Funks forehead into the barbed wire. He does it a second time. Funk is a bloody mess. Funk thrown into the barbed wire. He then gives Corino a nutshot. Funk stuck in the barbed wire and Corino working on his arm. Corino’s turn to get the barbed wire to the forehead. Corino takes a bump into the barbed wire. Corino is busted open. Funk all over Corino, who is bleeding like crazy. Funk drops the referee and then piledrives him. Funk ddt’s Corino, but C.W. Anderson cuts the barbed wire. Funk goes outside the ring and wraps the barbed wire around his face. Simon Diamond tries to make the save but Funk decks him. Funk gets a barbed wire bat. Corino takes three bat shots to the arm. Funk gives Corino two stunners for the pin. Barbaric match. Rating: ***
After the match, Horsemen beat on Funk until Williams makes the save. He then gets beaten down by the heels. Funk getting destroyed while Sandman makes his ring entrance very slowly. Sandman finally cleans house. Funk walking around with barbed wire wrapped all around him. Corino cuts a promo afterwards. Funk also cuts a promo and calls Corino chicken dick. Crowd continues the chant. Sandman then gives Funk a beer as the show goes off the air.